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Receiving the rights to the first pick in the NBA Draft can certainly be considered both a blessing and a curse. Most analysts narrowed down the selection to two men in the college ranks, doubly ambidextrous forward Michael Beasley out of Kansas State and sensational point guard Derrick Rose from Memphis. Beasley possesses the size to be a great player in the NBA and that size and presence could have paid dividends for the Bulls. However, point guards such as New Orleans’ Chris Paul are changing the face of the game and there’s no doubt that Rose is a definite game-changer (not to mention a hometown hero) and the decision was ultimately made to bring Rose aboard. But new coach Vinny del Negro and the Bulls’ front office would have done well to consider a diamond in the rough, and had gone as far to extend workout invitations to a remarkable prospect: Scott “Teen Wolf” Howard, age 41.
*This story is not real although we wish it were.
Howard is a great prospect and, while perhaps a bit older, has tremendous potential for upswing. Firstly, although he stands at only 5’4 ½” tall, he has an incredible vertical leap that enables him to dunk from well beyond the far paint. This is like watching Muggsy Bogues out-dunk Dwight Howard and LeBron James, but Scott Howard would eat both of them (literally). He is also the only person in his high school team’s history to score a quadruple double, with points, assists, steals and rebounds, which is a record in both California and Canada.
The key to Howard’s success -besides being a werewolf- is his focus and determination. He looks like a completely different man when you see him on the street as opposed to when you see him on the court. He has that look in his eyes when he wears that Beaver jersey. It’s a look that says, Look at my eyes, not at my werewolf fur or large werewolf incisors and completely disregard my  werewolf howling – just look at my eyes and my basketballing skills. Scott Howard has the drive to make it in the League and scouts notice that. And he’s a werewolf. Every scout knows that werewolves make great basketball players.
Another thing that scouts notice is character. In a league where some of the best players on the court are the worst off, it would be refreshing to have a key role-playing teammate who could be a role model for other kids. And werewolves. Scott Howard’s agent, Rupert “Stiles” Stilinski has been very vocal about his client’s character. “Scotty Howard, otherwise known as the Wolf, is not only an NBA caliber werewolf, but also a stand-up guy. As Scott, he was a nice guy who used to date women with unfortunate names, like Boof. As the Wolf, he was the most popular guy in school. He’s got it where it counts: heart and fangs,” said Stiles, holding back tears. “Heart and fangs.”
Many people are excited about the opportunity to play with Howard. “It would be fun to be teammates with someone who shares my affinity for hair and teeth,” explained Bulls center, Joakim Noah.
Others are less than enthusiastic about the possibility of Howard joining the Bulls’ ranks. “We could stand Rodman, but I think this might be a stretch,” says former Bulls hotshot and optical trend-setter Horace Grant. “What makes a werewolf good at basketball anyway?” This is a common concern among Howard’s skeptics. However, it is clear that despite all sorts of old wife’s tales concerning werewolves, they can indeed be potent competitors. One need only rent the 1985 biographical documentary Teen Wolf to clearly grasp the unlimited potential that Scott Howard, and possibly the Chicago Bulls, have at their disposal. Hopefully, the Bulls will make the necessary trades to attain Howard so that their new talent Derrick Rose will have someone to develop with in the NBA.
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