CHICAGO, IL — Unseasoned veteran QB Rex Grossman is “totally not cool’ with Coach Lovie “Dovey” Smith’s request to show the new guy, former Broncos play-caller jay Cutler, around his new town of Chicago.

 *2nd Opinion stories are not real, just humor & fiction.

“I asked some of the other guys, but they were tied up with having lives and family engagements,” said Smith. “So, naturally, I turned to the guy I knew had nothing noteworthy planned in the near future with Rex.”

An outraged Grossman held a press conference at his locker near the ice machine in the medical trainer’s room.

“This is BOGUS, man,” said Grossman. “This guy is a total square. And I hear he thinks he can take my position away from me. I’d punch him in the face, if he wasn’t being swarmed by all of those adoring fans.”

Cutler declined comment saying only “Who now? I’m not familiar with that name.”

Billy Dee Williams and James Caan, actors from the critically-acclaimed and okay-for-dudes-to-cry-at film Brian’s Song, were on hand at the request of the Bears front office to try to convince Grossman to give Cutler a shot, and that maybe they would be best of friends, like the characters in the film.

Grossman, undaunted by their pleas, told them to back away or they’d be “really sorry they ever messed with my dad’s son,” referring to himself.

Cutler declined comment saying only “Who now? I’m not familiar with that name.”

Grossman was later found attempting to throw a spiral through a nearby tire-swing at a local Chicago high school before being escorted away by high school security members.
 

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